I just woke up from a little nap and as I woke up I felt the urge to write this blog..
What if we can really restart our lives around the age of 40 and 50 too.. I look back at the first 20 years of my professional life and wonder ‘what on earth was all of that!’ not from a place of regret but from a place of knowing more who I am now and what I was missing out on. I wasn’t aligned with my core values and what genuinely makes Me happy. Me being my heart, my soul, my mind! Yes, I have learnt from all of these years of being ‘out of alignment’ and it has served me however it has cost me a few things not truly listening to my body, intuition and heart and now at 38 years of age I do get those thoughts that creep in saying do I still have time to rebuild my finances? Do I still have time to connect with the man I know is waiting for me? Will my body still have enough vitality to live all the years I want to make up for.. And the answer is yes! As long as I truly want it! Doubt comes from fear and a disempowered place. And that its in my hands, heart and will to make things happen. My belief is our spirit is timeless and endless and we can therefore tap into our capacity and skills to renew our lives in all of these aspects and fully embrace a new life within our current lifespan embracing everything new and birth our new beginnings.
Being kind is respecting someone else. Being kind is knowing that they deserve love and you are able to give it. Being kind is honouring someone else for who they are and taking their life and needs into consideration. Being kind is sharing your gifts with someone else respecting yours and their personal boundaries..
People pleasing is different. People pleasing is attending to someone else’s needs without fully respecting yours. People pleasing is acting that you like someone when you don’t. You don’t have to like everybody! You can respect them but you don’t have to like them. People pleasing is not expressing your needs and making theirs more important than yours. A really funny and clear example comes to mind..
Imagine you are renting a flat and you need some drains to be fixed or a mattress to be changed because it is very uncomfortable. Would you:
a) By a mattress or pay for something to provide a solution to not bother the landlord
b) call the landlord to ask him to change the mattress
Which option do you think is more linked to people pleasing?
You got it! A. You may be surprised how many people avoid contacting their landlord because of these thoughts and fears.
Option a) often comes from a mentality of I don’t want to disturb the landlord in case he doesn’t like me any more and this can even be taken to the next level where you think and he may even put the rent up. We’ll talk about this part another day!
For the moment a person who is kind will use an approach of loving assertiveness and will let the landlord know about their need and will know they are in perfect right to be asking this from the landlord as it is about basic wellbeing and self care and the landlord will understand too if it is explained well. You are also doing him a favour as more people will want to rent out his flats if they are more taken care of 🙂
So, would you rather be kind or be a people pleaser?
Live in Joy knowing you have the right to a life full of Wellbeing, its your Birth right, express with Kindness and be You!
Many of us have been controlled by our own minds for so long. Disconnected from our hearts.. disconnected from our feelings. Allowing the world to control who we are, what we do, even how we feel. Last night I heard a message from Doreen Virtue saying that our feelings are our angels and God speaking through us so how can we ignore them, cover them. avoid them? What are we aligning ourselves with if we aren’t listening to these feelings? Are we people pleasing and living to other people’s values and expectations? Are we holding onto the past or too focused on the future not allowing ourselves to really get to know who we are? Are we getting angry because we don’t know how else to get our message across? What are we listening to most… our heart or… our mind? What would happen if we all started to listen to our hearts and connect our mind with our heart where the heart dictates what it needs and feels and the mind helps the needs turn into actions and expressions? How about that for a change?
Would you like to try to connect to your heart more often?Here’s a take away tip for you then!:
Take a deep breathe in and out and prepare yourself to find a comfortable space and position even if there are some noises around (life is simply going on around us) just relax…. when you have found a comfortable position, take another deep breathe and as you breathe out connect your hands to your heart chakra (the space in them middle of your chest and ask yourself today ‘what are you feeling today?’ ‘is there something you would really like to do or say?’ and simply listen.. if you struggle to listen just become aware of your thoughts, acknowledge them, if they are worries, let them know you will come back to them after, if they are things you need to do, let them know you will take note of them after and simply reconnect with your heart. Feel. Listen. Feel. Listen… Know.. What does your heart want to do today? What does your heart want to express today? and take action you may even find your worries decrease and your to do list becomes less important.. its just our mind trying to keep us busy and distracted from what really matters anyway 😉
When you are clear about what your heart wants to do and experience, don’t delay it, let your mind know and make a plan to make it happen your soul will feel fulfilled and you will feel lighter and happier. Guaranteed!
Heres to more listening to the heart and connecting the mind … after… <3