Difference between being kind and people pleasing

Being kind is respecting someone else. Being kind is knowing that they deserve love and you are able to give it. Being kind is honouring someone else for who they are and taking their life and needs into consideration. Being kind is sharing your gifts with someone else respecting yours and their personal boundaries..

People pleasing is different. People pleasing is attending to someone else’s needs without fully respecting yours. People pleasing is acting that you like someone when you don’t. You don’t have to like everybody! You can respect them but you don’t have to like them. People pleasing is not expressing your needs and making theirs more important than yours. A really funny and clear example comes to mind..

Imagine you are renting a flat and you need some drains to be fixed or a mattress to be changed because it is very uncomfortable. Would you:

a) By a mattress or pay for something to provide a solution to not bother the landlord
b) call the landlord to ask him to change the mattress

Which option do you think is more linked to people pleasing?

You got it! A. You may be surprised how many people avoid contacting their landlord because of these thoughts and fears.

Option a) often comes from a mentality of I don’t want to disturb the landlord in case he doesn’t like me any more and this can even be taken to the next level where you think and he may even put the rent up. We’ll talk about this part another day!

For the moment a person who is kind will use an approach of loving assertiveness and will let the landlord know about their need and will know they are in perfect right to be asking this from the landlord as it is about basic wellbeing and self care and the landlord will understand too if it is explained well. You are also doing him a favour as more people will want to rent out his flats if they are more taken care of 🙂

So, would you rather be kind or be a people pleaser?

Live in Joy knowing you have the right to a life full of Wellbeing, its your Birth right, express with Kindness and be You!